"God, when, if ever will I be free?
What does it truly mean to forgive?
Tomorrow marks one year from when I broke through
Months of hurt to find only a broken spirit and abandoned life
What does normal look like?
How can I live without fear and oppression and doubt of my own validity?
Restore me, redeem the time I've lost
Keep me from that sort of blindness, from that pain
Restore my mind, that I might actually believe that I am complete, beautiful, whole"
I found the above text written on a piece of paper in my Bible last Sunday, something I had written during this past summer. God has been working on my heart so much and has been so gracious toward me.
The last six weeks or so have been an absolute whirlwind since I have a lot going on, and generally about this time into the semester, I'm exhausted. This semester has been different though, in so many ways. :) I have been learning a lot about the Holy Spirit and allowing Him to lead me, as I lead worship especially. I have been exploring the freedom that comes by living honestly before God and others and have watched God prove Himself faithful on my behalf. I have seen the text, "If God be for us, who can be against us?" come to fruition in my own life. I have seen God stir the heart of His people in lives around me, and I am thrilled! He has put a new song in my heart and has truly been redeeming time that I thought I had lost and wasted, and He's re-energizing me so that, as I run with Him, I do not grow weary.
I write this to say that life is certainly full of seasons, and though the desert places can certainly be barren, the fruit that comes during the harvest is plentiful and well worth the wait. There is comfort in knowing that God is my Victor, that He is for me. I hope you can trust that He will do that for you also if you wait on Him.